Not much good news this week with regards to weight loss. I'm down 31lbs., but frustrated that it's not coming off quite as quickly as I think it should. I started the 30 Day Shred last weekend, and while I do feel like it's maybe toning muscles that haven't been toned in quite a while, I thought I'd drop a few more lbs. than I have. Oh well. I did go shopping this morning and got a nice little surprise-I fit into a smaller size in jeans! They're snug right now, but they're skinny jeans so I guess that's the whole premise of those. I purposely bought them a little tighter because I can't afford to buy a new pair of jeans every time mine get too big. However, since Old Navy had them for only FIFTEEN bucks, it definitely isn't out of my budget (ha...should say my mother's budget since I'm not currently working a steady job) to buy a new pair for every size I drop. I had kind of a "You REALLY suck" moment this morning in the dressing room, though, because my mother is now a size four. A mother-flipping FOUR. Granted the jeans DO have stretch in them, but still. All I could think was, "Oh my God, I have GOT to step it up!" That's pure motivation to me. While I have been eating healthy, and really sticking to it, I feel like I need to cut back on the carbs a little bit. I've been eating 2 pieces of whole-wheat toast versus one, "cheating" and having chips and salsa when I eat Mexican (okay, I'm sorry, but I won't give those up when I go out to eat...nope, not going to happen...EVER), and indulging in alcohol more often. The alcohol thing isn't such a big deal, because sometimes I even lose more weight when I drink (Cosmo even recently had an article on weight loss and red wine...can't remember the month, but I'm sure it's on their website). The Mexican food is a rarity even though I live within 5 minutes of 3 pretty decent ones. I had it last night with one of my best friends, and in the past, especially when I'm with her, I would tend to overindulge. However, last night I ate half my entree (just steak and onions, no tortillas), and ordered a small guacamole to accompany that. Guacamole is full of awesome-for-your-heart monounsaturated fats, so once in a while, I have no problem eating it. Like I said, I won't give up chips and salsa at a Mexican restaurant, so yeah, I definitely ate them. Between my friend and I, we didn't even finish half a basket, so that's a minor victory.
This week, since I didn't lose much weight, I was kind of having a pity party for myself. I felt so unwanted and kind of lonely (at least for the first part of the week). I think I was sore and just not feeling 100%, and I let it affect my mood. I wound up emailing a former "friend", and let's just say I let him know that yes, he did hurt me. I did, however, also let him know that I'm happy and working on my body. I know the weight thing won't be an issue for him, because he explicitly told me he likes "chubby" girls. He was the first guy to make me feel 100% completely comfortable about my body, and for that I'll be eternally grateful. He was, however, the first guy to ever make me feel inferior intellectually. Just because I didn't have my bachelor's degree (yet...eventually I will finish it) or take a huge interest in reading non-fiction books like he did, he dropped me like a bad habit. Had I fallen for him? Um yes...BIG time. It hurt my self-esteem in ways I didn't know possible. I had had my heart broken before, sure, but that time it just felt different. So yeah, definite pity party, but it felt good to get a few things off my chest. Thursday, I went back and forth about whether or not I should go out with someone I had been talking to-both on the phone and text/IM-for a couple of weeks. We had had plans a couple of times prior, and unfortunately they both fell through (totally MY fault). By that evening, I figured I had nothing to lose, and we met up at a new-ish bar near my place. I had my favorite beer (Leffe Blond Pale Ale...AMAZINGLY yummy!), and a great night out with a true gentleman! I know what I said about foregoing dating until I reach my goal weight, but methinks that might have been a little harsh. Will I be able to give someone 100% of my attention? No way. Will I be able to go out, have a good time, and have someone who actually LISTENS to me? Sure:). So for now, I'm just enjoying the ride...
Don't even get me started on Mexican ;) I am completely impressed by only half a basket of chips! I can not even restrain myself with Mexican. Dustin and I easily go through a basket! You still need to reward yourself every now and then ;)
ReplyDeletePs. Someone else told me (via my blog) that they shed their last 10 or 15 lbs with the 30 day shred. I may give it a go come September if I don't shed some pounds after getting back into a routine with school starting. Can't wait to see what the final outcome is for you!
man i've been slacking on the 30 day, been doing it like, twice a week or so, but been trying to jog longer. and man i will never give up my shrimp linguini at red lobster for even this calorie counting, too damn good, so i get what you mean about mexican food :). i'm glad you're chugging along though, can't belive your mom is a 4? whatttttt. how did she do it? anyway, talk to you later and see you at some point this month :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Kristin-I'll let you know for sure how it goes! I need to step it up, but at the same time what I'm doing now is torture at times! Those chips are worth every extra 30 minutes of exercise, though;)
ReplyDeleteKarina, ugh you know what? I have slacked some on it, because as you know it takes so much energy to go gung-ho for 20 min at that crap. Yeah Mom is now a 4...she's been doing exactly what I've been doing, but she also helps her friend with landscaping, so she gets an extra workout in a couple of times a week. She's lost like 23 lbs., I think.