DWF

DWF-Dating While Fat. I know that sounds like such a weird thing to start out with, but it's been on my mind a lot lately. There seems to be two distinct type of guys-guys who have no problem dating a bigger chick, and guys who won't even give us bigger chicks a chance. My problem is, the guys that like me, I usually don't like, and the ones that I like, don't like me. I've had boyfriends, sure, and even said those 3 scary little words to a couple of guys, but for one reason or another it hasn't worked out. I've been told by a guy friend that I'm too picky. Do I not have a right to be picky when it comes to choosing someone I could potentially spend the rest of my life with? I will say this, the guy that said that, I've liked for years. He and I have went round and round about dating. There's been many a tear shed during (thanks PMS) certain phone conversations about him not wanting to date me. I think I hear only what I want to sometimes. I hear "I don't want you because you're fat." What's he really saying? "I'm not dating you because we live 2+ hours apart and I have full custody of my son and therefore have little time to pursue you." My head knows that that's logical, but my heart doesn't always understand that. A small part of me wonders how it's going to be when I'm fit (and foxy! haha), and if he'll suddenly change his mind. We talk a lot (going over my cell phone minutes is proof of that!), but the talks aren't what they used to be a few months ago simply because my whole outlook on things has changed since I began this lifestyle transformation. A person can only take rejection so much before they move on. I think it almost bothers him that I'm not as into him as much as I was, but I refuse to be a 25 year old WOMAN chasing after a man like some high school girl.

Back in April when I made this commitment to losing weight and leading a healthier lifestyle, I also made a commitment to staying single. There's been a couple of guys who I thought there might be potential with for more, but they got tossed in the friendship pile before it got serious because I just couldn't let myself fall for anyone right now. It's almost like I see guys as obstacles in the way of my goal(s). I know too many women who've started dating someone and then let themselves go. A good friend of mine started dating someone right after she'd lost about 60lbs., and promptly gained it all back due to poor eating habits. I think with your partner, it's great if you reach the level of comfort that you can be makeup-free and hair a mess, but don't you want to live a healthy and long life together? I want someone who encourages me, but doesn't criticize, someone who's my biggest cheerleader...yet at the same time sees me as a person, not some number on a scale.