This week, I had set a goal of losing 3lbs. It's not much, but when I've been having weeks where I don't lose, or barely lose, anything, I felt I needed to step it up. When I stepped on the scales this morning, I was so happy to discover that I had indeed lost 3lbs.! I have now lost 35lbs, so only (only...sheesh...that should be reserved for when I have like 5lbs. left) 72 more to go. The closer I get to my goal weight of 150, the more I want to go beyond that. I'm worried that I won't ever be satisfied. Is it human nature to never be perfectly content with everything? I'm afraid that I'll always find things on my body I don't like (like my chin...it's NEVER bothered me until now).
With the weight loss comes other issues, such as the fact that my chest is no longer as big as it once was. This was so graciously pointed out (by a guy, natch), and while I know it's true, I still want reassurance that I'm attractive and wanted.
I saw on People.com this past week that Sarah Rue, a formerly plus-size actress is now a size 6. In my opinion, she was much prettier when she was a little more plump. Yes, maybe it wasn't as healthy, but she just doesn't look like herself at that size. I know you're thinking, "Duh, that's the point", but really...what if I'm like that? I've heard comments like oh, "Don't get too skinny" or "You'll look scary at 150", with that last statement coming from my mother. I know she didn't mean it in a bad way, but really-what if I don't look right at a smaller size?
I know these are a lot of "what ifs", and I'm not even close to my goal yet, but realistically I have to start thinking about what a huge change this is. I've heard of people losing the weight, and yet still mentally thinking they're fat, and even seeing themselves as being bigger than they are. I don't want to be that girl.
Showing posts with label fat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fat. Show all posts
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
DWF-Part 2 (Warning- NOT PG!)
(DWF=Dating While Fat for those who didn't read my earlier blog on it!)
Saturday night, I had a very traumatizing experience while on a date. Before I get to it, though, let me tell you some background info: M had added me on Facebook a few months ago, and I accepted it because we had a ton of friends in common and I figured I just wasn't remembering him from high school. Last Tuesday night, he emailed me via Facebook and we started chatting. That led to phone calls and text messages. I knew he was a big flirt, but thought he was pretty harmless. We wound up making plans to go out on Saturday night.
Now that you're up to speed, let me tell you about the date. It started out fine, or so I thought. He kissed me on the lips before I had a chance to stop him, though, and that should've been a red flag right there. When I informed him that I don't kiss guys on the first date, he told me to just consider it a friendly kiss then. Whaattt? Last time I checked I don't go around kissing guy friends. Anyhoo, he took me to dinner and then we decided to go back to my condo and just relax with a couple of beers. Almost immediately he tried to get me to sleep with him! I was appalled, needless to say. Has our society become THAT slutty that a guy expects sex on the first date? What amazes me is that he had the gall to even ask after I told him I don't even kiss guys on the first date. Did he expect me to jump into bed with him, thinking that sure, sex on a first date is fine but kissing is DEFINITELY not?!
Too often, in my opinion, guys think that bigger girls must be desperate and therefore will sleep with any and everyone. Sorry, not this one. It's MY body and I choose who I do and do not sleep with. I'm not a prude, mind you, but I consider sex to be little more personal, and I'd prefer to know a guy a bit longer than a week before I sleep with him. M left when I went upstairs to use the restroom because I wouldn't go upstairs to my room with him. How mature, right? I did text him and tell him basically that I couldn't believe he left the way he did, and he texted me back that he was sorry, and he respected my decision to not sleep with him, but he's never been turned down before and expects sex on the first date. Wow someone's full of themselves! There's a first time for everything, and I'm proud to be the first chick to put a little dent in M's overinflated ego!
I will give M a little credit-he did email me the next morning and apologize for his actions. He told me that I'm going to make some guy very happy one day. I have no doubt in my mind that I will, but I have to wonder if there truly are any nice guys left who DON'T expect so much on a first date...if you happen to find one, throw him my way!
Saturday night, I had a very traumatizing experience while on a date. Before I get to it, though, let me tell you some background info: M had added me on Facebook a few months ago, and I accepted it because we had a ton of friends in common and I figured I just wasn't remembering him from high school. Last Tuesday night, he emailed me via Facebook and we started chatting. That led to phone calls and text messages. I knew he was a big flirt, but thought he was pretty harmless. We wound up making plans to go out on Saturday night.
Now that you're up to speed, let me tell you about the date. It started out fine, or so I thought. He kissed me on the lips before I had a chance to stop him, though, and that should've been a red flag right there. When I informed him that I don't kiss guys on the first date, he told me to just consider it a friendly kiss then. Whaattt? Last time I checked I don't go around kissing guy friends. Anyhoo, he took me to dinner and then we decided to go back to my condo and just relax with a couple of beers. Almost immediately he tried to get me to sleep with him! I was appalled, needless to say. Has our society become THAT slutty that a guy expects sex on the first date? What amazes me is that he had the gall to even ask after I told him I don't even kiss guys on the first date. Did he expect me to jump into bed with him, thinking that sure, sex on a first date is fine but kissing is DEFINITELY not?!
Too often, in my opinion, guys think that bigger girls must be desperate and therefore will sleep with any and everyone. Sorry, not this one. It's MY body and I choose who I do and do not sleep with. I'm not a prude, mind you, but I consider sex to be little more personal, and I'd prefer to know a guy a bit longer than a week before I sleep with him. M left when I went upstairs to use the restroom because I wouldn't go upstairs to my room with him. How mature, right? I did text him and tell him basically that I couldn't believe he left the way he did, and he texted me back that he was sorry, and he respected my decision to not sleep with him, but he's never been turned down before and expects sex on the first date. Wow someone's full of themselves! There's a first time for everything, and I'm proud to be the first chick to put a little dent in M's overinflated ego!
I will give M a little credit-he did email me the next morning and apologize for his actions. He told me that I'm going to make some guy very happy one day. I have no doubt in my mind that I will, but I have to wonder if there truly are any nice guys left who DON'T expect so much on a first date...if you happen to find one, throw him my way!
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