I've been needing to get this out for a while, so I'm going to go ahead. This is an open letter to an ex-boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he'll never see it, but there's a lot that I wish I could say to him, just for closure's sake.
Life's changed so much for the both of us, and I really hope your life is happy. Mine is getting better every day, but not sure you'd even care. What I really want to tell you is this: I wasn't in a good place in my life when I met you, and I wish you could see the person I am today. The woman I am today is still self-conscious about her looks, but she's losing weight and becoming more confident with every pound shed. The woman I am today isn't afraid her man is cheating on her with someone else. I'm no longer feeling like I have to say "I love you" two or three days into a relationship just because a guy says it (and the guys I associate with don't just jump into something that quickly!). I'm no longer having panic attacks from merely going to the grocery store (even though I still despise it!) or worrying about my boyfriend not calling me all weekend. I still enjoy taking care of a guy; I thought after our relationship ended I would never do a thing for another man, but I can't change that part of my being. The biggest-and most important!-thing I want you to know is that your comments about my weight (when you were obviously VERY overweight) only gave me more fuel to succeed, and for that I thank you. I'm no longer the weak, scared, lonely, depressed, fat girl you once loved and called your girlfriend (and yet talked to other women behind my back...ha how funny). I'm a strong, happy, smiley, cheerful, and not-quite-as-fat girl who no longer wants you!
Okay, so that probably sounded a little childish, but sometimes you just have to get things off your chest. Happy note since I last posted-I'm down 38 (almost 39!) lbs.! I am kicking it up big time, because I have a month before my grandfather's wedding, and I want to be down 50lbs. by then!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Finally!
Wow it's been a while since I've written. So much has been going on and I kind of neglected this. First off, I started my new job! Sept. 4 was my first "official" day, but I had to go in the night before to prepare for the next day. I love my job (I'm a supervisor for Aramark, which handles the concessions for UGA games), and I met a lot of awesome people, but BOY is it hard work! Actually the work isn't so hard; it's having to get up at 4:15 a.m. that's hard, and then working 13 hours. I sat down for about 5 minutes 2 different times, and one of the times I did sit down, my boss walked by. Nice, huh? I just smiled and said hi. Why couldn't he have walked by when I was working my ass off?! The only reason I was even sitting down is because the lady I was working with had instructed me to take a break because "you'll get burnt out if you don't." Was she ever right...by the end of the day, my blood sugar got so low that I almost passed out. I'm not a diabetic, but the combination of heat, dehydration (I had been drinking mainly Diet Coke all day, and not once needed to go to the bathroom), and barely eating caught up with me quick. I broke ALL my eating rules and quickly consumed a leftover hot dog. Gross. But at that moment, it was the best tasting thing I'd ever had, so I really didn't care. I felt better after that, and was able to finish my duties with no problems. I learned a few valuable lessons that day, though. 1-I definitely have to eat more. For breakfast I had just eaten a 100-calorie granola bar. Not the smartest idea. Now I know to eat some protein-I'll probably make a quick breakfast egg mug of low-fat cheese, turkey sausage, and egg whites, along with a piece of wheat toast. 2-I HAVE to drink water, and lots of it! Diet Coke tasted good, sure, but offered nothing to my body whatsoever. 3-Shoes can be your best friend or your worst enemy. I wore Nike Shox, and those things are BITCHES. They are NOT comfortable. My feet ached all day, to the point where I was almost in tears. My dad felt bad about it, and went and bought me a new pair of Asics (which are supposedly really comfortable) this week. I know after being on my feet for 13 hours that they will hurt some, but hopefully they'll keep my feet a little more comfortable.
Enough about the job, though. My weight has pretty much held steady. I'm still down 35lbs. This frustrates me beyond belief sometimes. I try so hard, and then nothing happens. This past week, I definitely ate more, though. I was constantly starving, and while I didn't eat "bad" foods, I ate more of the healthy stuff than I should have. By the end of the week, though, I had gotten beyond that.
I had a complete and utter meltdown on Friday night. It wasn't pretty, and yes, I'm ashamed. My mom and I had dinner with my grandfather and his fiancee, and then she and I went shopping afterward. We went to Kohl's, with the intent of buying dresses to wear to my grandfather's wedding in October. My mom and I both tried on this cute dress, her in the solid purple one, and me in the purple/white/black version. I didn't like the way it looked on me at all, but it was adorable on her, so she got it! In.a.freaking.SMALL. Ugh lol. I had also picked out this ADORABLE lacy strapless black and cream-colored dress. The largest size they had-a 16-would not zip up. I was devastated. It was one of the smaller-fitting brands (Elle) that Kohl's carries, but that still didn't make me feel any better. Mom tried to make me feel better by saying that it probably wasn't an appropriate dress for the wedding anyway, but I argued that I could've worn a jacket over it and it would have been. Once we got out in the car, I burst into tears. I said some choice words, and it definitely didn't help the situation. Not being able to fit into the dress made me realize how far I still have to go. 35lbs. is a lot of weight to the average person, but to someone who's as overweight as I am, it's really just a drop of rain in a huge lake. I still have 72lbs. to lose before I reach my "healthy" goal, and 20 more lbs. after that before I reach my "vanity" goal. I won't mind not reaching the vanity goal, but the healthy goal is one that I have no choice but to reach. My short-term goal of the moment is to hit 50lbs. lost before my grandfather's wedding on Oct. 23. I'm only 15lbs. away from that. To be have lost 50lbs. would be huge to me.
I want to end this post on a positive note, I promise. For all the whining I did about not being able to fit into things, I did have some victories on Sat. night. My mom and I went to Old Navy, and I got THE cutest faux-fur vest. I've never wanted something like that, but it was cheap (only $25) and I figured I could wear it with several things this fall. My current obsession is button-down shirts. I've never liked them until here recently, and now I can't get enough! Old Navy has a ton of new ones out (I got a longer tunic one last night, and it's beyond adorable!), all at reasonable prices. Now all I have to do is find a darned dress for that wedding!!
Enough about the job, though. My weight has pretty much held steady. I'm still down 35lbs. This frustrates me beyond belief sometimes. I try so hard, and then nothing happens. This past week, I definitely ate more, though. I was constantly starving, and while I didn't eat "bad" foods, I ate more of the healthy stuff than I should have. By the end of the week, though, I had gotten beyond that.
I had a complete and utter meltdown on Friday night. It wasn't pretty, and yes, I'm ashamed. My mom and I had dinner with my grandfather and his fiancee, and then she and I went shopping afterward. We went to Kohl's, with the intent of buying dresses to wear to my grandfather's wedding in October. My mom and I both tried on this cute dress, her in the solid purple one, and me in the purple/white/black version. I didn't like the way it looked on me at all, but it was adorable on her, so she got it! In.a.freaking.SMALL. Ugh lol. I had also picked out this ADORABLE lacy strapless black and cream-colored dress. The largest size they had-a 16-would not zip up. I was devastated. It was one of the smaller-fitting brands (Elle) that Kohl's carries, but that still didn't make me feel any better. Mom tried to make me feel better by saying that it probably wasn't an appropriate dress for the wedding anyway, but I argued that I could've worn a jacket over it and it would have been. Once we got out in the car, I burst into tears. I said some choice words, and it definitely didn't help the situation. Not being able to fit into the dress made me realize how far I still have to go. 35lbs. is a lot of weight to the average person, but to someone who's as overweight as I am, it's really just a drop of rain in a huge lake. I still have 72lbs. to lose before I reach my "healthy" goal, and 20 more lbs. after that before I reach my "vanity" goal. I won't mind not reaching the vanity goal, but the healthy goal is one that I have no choice but to reach. My short-term goal of the moment is to hit 50lbs. lost before my grandfather's wedding on Oct. 23. I'm only 15lbs. away from that. To be have lost 50lbs. would be huge to me.
I want to end this post on a positive note, I promise. For all the whining I did about not being able to fit into things, I did have some victories on Sat. night. My mom and I went to Old Navy, and I got THE cutest faux-fur vest. I've never wanted something like that, but it was cheap (only $25) and I figured I could wear it with several things this fall. My current obsession is button-down shirts. I've never liked them until here recently, and now I can't get enough! Old Navy has a ton of new ones out (I got a longer tunic one last night, and it's beyond adorable!), all at reasonable prices. Now all I have to do is find a darned dress for that wedding!!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
What if...
This week, I had set a goal of losing 3lbs. It's not much, but when I've been having weeks where I don't lose, or barely lose, anything, I felt I needed to step it up. When I stepped on the scales this morning, I was so happy to discover that I had indeed lost 3lbs.! I have now lost 35lbs, so only (only...sheesh...that should be reserved for when I have like 5lbs. left) 72 more to go. The closer I get to my goal weight of 150, the more I want to go beyond that. I'm worried that I won't ever be satisfied. Is it human nature to never be perfectly content with everything? I'm afraid that I'll always find things on my body I don't like (like my chin...it's NEVER bothered me until now).
With the weight loss comes other issues, such as the fact that my chest is no longer as big as it once was. This was so graciously pointed out (by a guy, natch), and while I know it's true, I still want reassurance that I'm attractive and wanted.
I saw on People.com this past week that Sarah Rue, a formerly plus-size actress is now a size 6. In my opinion, she was much prettier when she was a little more plump. Yes, maybe it wasn't as healthy, but she just doesn't look like herself at that size. I know you're thinking, "Duh, that's the point", but really...what if I'm like that? I've heard comments like oh, "Don't get too skinny" or "You'll look scary at 150", with that last statement coming from my mother. I know she didn't mean it in a bad way, but really-what if I don't look right at a smaller size?
I know these are a lot of "what ifs", and I'm not even close to my goal yet, but realistically I have to start thinking about what a huge change this is. I've heard of people losing the weight, and yet still mentally thinking they're fat, and even seeing themselves as being bigger than they are. I don't want to be that girl.
With the weight loss comes other issues, such as the fact that my chest is no longer as big as it once was. This was so graciously pointed out (by a guy, natch), and while I know it's true, I still want reassurance that I'm attractive and wanted.
I saw on People.com this past week that Sarah Rue, a formerly plus-size actress is now a size 6. In my opinion, she was much prettier when she was a little more plump. Yes, maybe it wasn't as healthy, but she just doesn't look like herself at that size. I know you're thinking, "Duh, that's the point", but really...what if I'm like that? I've heard comments like oh, "Don't get too skinny" or "You'll look scary at 150", with that last statement coming from my mother. I know she didn't mean it in a bad way, but really-what if I don't look right at a smaller size?
I know these are a lot of "what ifs", and I'm not even close to my goal yet, but realistically I have to start thinking about what a huge change this is. I've heard of people losing the weight, and yet still mentally thinking they're fat, and even seeing themselves as being bigger than they are. I don't want to be that girl.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Salad/Zalad...whatever you call it-I just call it yummy
It's been a while since I posted about what I'm cooking, so I figured now would be a good time. The truth is, I haven't been cooking nearly as much as I should. Zaxby's salads (or "zalads" lol) are so easy when I don't feel like cooking. I don't eat the bread that comes with it, nor do I get their cheese on it (and I always choose grilled chicken!). I am guilty of not leaving the fried onions off, but as few as they put on it I don't really see the harm in it. I usually opt to use my own fat-free Ranch dressing, but when I don't have it handy, I get their light Ranch and only use one packet. That's been my go-t0 meal at least 2 or 3 times a week here lately. The salads at Chick-fil-a are pretty awesome as well, and their grape tomatoes taste a million times better than the few slices of regular tomatoes Zaxby's puts on theirs. Plus, CFA has this amazing fat-free honey mustard dressing...I find myself wanting to lick the bowl after I'm done (I refrain from doing so, however). I've been making salads at home a lot this week, though, because we got a huge container of baby salad greens from Kroger (ugh) for only about $5. Between my mom and I, we've barely made a dent in it, so I plan on picking the baby spinach out of it tomorrow morning and using it in a frittata, along with some caramelized onions and sharp cheddar cheese.
One indulgence I've discovered is fat-free Cool Whip mixed with butterscotch ice cream topping. The ff Cool Whip only has about 20 calories per serving (I'm thinking it was 2 Tbsp.), and the butterscotch has around 110 (brands vary greatly, so read labels!), so mixed together, they make for a fairly low-cal dessert that's pretty decadent and rich. Not quite as satisfying as chocolate, but me and chocolate are on a break right now, with one exception-Nature Valley has these new Granola Thins. Basically it's a thin square of granola with dark chocolate on one side, and at only 80 calories, it's hardly a splurge. I could go on and on about how amazing they are, but I'll just say you need to check them out if you like granola and dark chocolate (they also have a peanut butter version that's pretty good as well!). Another yummy dessert is a s'more made with 1 Granola Thin and 1 large toasted marshmallow. I made those last night, and all I can say is, you need to try it for yourself!:)
I had been kind of down lately because the weight hasn't been coming off. Mother Nature tortured me last week (and part of this week), but I exercised pretty regularly and watched what I ate more closely...and lo and behold, 2 lbs. are gone! That totally made my whole week! I'm off to try a new recipe-baked chicken strips coated with Frank's Buffalo Hot Sauce...and while I'm at it, I might just crack open a beer to celebrate!
One indulgence I've discovered is fat-free Cool Whip mixed with butterscotch ice cream topping. The ff Cool Whip only has about 20 calories per serving (I'm thinking it was 2 Tbsp.), and the butterscotch has around 110 (brands vary greatly, so read labels!), so mixed together, they make for a fairly low-cal dessert that's pretty decadent and rich. Not quite as satisfying as chocolate, but me and chocolate are on a break right now, with one exception-Nature Valley has these new Granola Thins. Basically it's a thin square of granola with dark chocolate on one side, and at only 80 calories, it's hardly a splurge. I could go on and on about how amazing they are, but I'll just say you need to check them out if you like granola and dark chocolate (they also have a peanut butter version that's pretty good as well!). Another yummy dessert is a s'more made with 1 Granola Thin and 1 large toasted marshmallow. I made those last night, and all I can say is, you need to try it for yourself!:)
I had been kind of down lately because the weight hasn't been coming off. Mother Nature tortured me last week (and part of this week), but I exercised pretty regularly and watched what I ate more closely...and lo and behold, 2 lbs. are gone! That totally made my whole week! I'm off to try a new recipe-baked chicken strips coated with Frank's Buffalo Hot Sauce...and while I'm at it, I might just crack open a beer to celebrate!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Working Woman:)
I know my last post wasn't exactly weight-related, but it made me reflect back on how much I've changed, so I'm going to kind of continue that theme with this post (at least for part of it!).
I am now at the weight I was 2 1/2 years ago. I realized that the other day. The only differences between then and now is 1-I lost it by pretty much not eating anything, and 2-clothing fits much differently. When I previously weighed what I do now, my grandmother had just passed away, and I didn't feel like doing anything, let alone eating. When I did start eating again, the weight came right back. I could kick myself now for not using that as a springboard to lose more...sigh.
I finally am down 32lbs., though, so that's a "yay!" moment for me. I'm like a little kid on Christmas morning when I see that I've went down a pound or so. I'm not as far along as I'd like to be in terms of weight loss, but I know that slow and steady is the way to go. My goal this week is to work out every single day. I have been really slacking on that lately, but no more. For some reason, I've been lacking motivation. Maybe I need to try on my skinny jeans more often...who knows?
I did get a job this week! It's just part-time; I'll be working all the home (UGA) football games as a supervisor in food services. Before, I would never have imagined myself doing such a physical job (I'll be on my feet and going non-stop for 12+ hours), but now I have no doubt that I'll be able to do it. I have training all afternoon next Saturday, and I'm actually excited about it! I'm hoping to make new friends and also gain some valuable work experience to add to my resume.
I wish I had more good news to put on here...seems like lately I don't have much to say, but hopefully that'll change soon!
I am now at the weight I was 2 1/2 years ago. I realized that the other day. The only differences between then and now is 1-I lost it by pretty much not eating anything, and 2-clothing fits much differently. When I previously weighed what I do now, my grandmother had just passed away, and I didn't feel like doing anything, let alone eating. When I did start eating again, the weight came right back. I could kick myself now for not using that as a springboard to lose more...sigh.
I finally am down 32lbs., though, so that's a "yay!" moment for me. I'm like a little kid on Christmas morning when I see that I've went down a pound or so. I'm not as far along as I'd like to be in terms of weight loss, but I know that slow and steady is the way to go. My goal this week is to work out every single day. I have been really slacking on that lately, but no more. For some reason, I've been lacking motivation. Maybe I need to try on my skinny jeans more often...who knows?
I did get a job this week! It's just part-time; I'll be working all the home (UGA) football games as a supervisor in food services. Before, I would never have imagined myself doing such a physical job (I'll be on my feet and going non-stop for 12+ hours), but now I have no doubt that I'll be able to do it. I have training all afternoon next Saturday, and I'm actually excited about it! I'm hoping to make new friends and also gain some valuable work experience to add to my resume.
I wish I had more good news to put on here...seems like lately I don't have much to say, but hopefully that'll change soon!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Copy Cat!
So a friend had done this on his blog, and it really makes you think. I haven't changed all that much, but in some ways I'm definitely different. It was funny to see what I'd written over a year ago, and some things that I said made me cringe.
My 25 Things About Me from Facebook...with updates underneath them! Originally posted on Facebook in February of 2009.
1. My favorite perfume is Clinique Happy in Bloom, and it's only (usually) available in the spring.
Still LOVE that perfume:).
2. I love seeing the looks on guys' faces when they hear me say that I like sports...PRICELESS:).
It's my signature flirt move to mention I love my sports;)
3. The Baha Men are one of my favorite bands...I first heard them in the movie "My Father the Hero" when I was about 10-11 years old.
Baha Men still make me smile!
4. I LOVE the Tampa Bay Rays!
Finally got to see them play in person in June and it was the most special moment of my life thus far.
5. When my grandma passed away last March, I wouldn't go in to see her the night she died. My family was really irritated with me, with the exception of my mom, because I wouldn't. I wanted to remember my grandma the way I did before she had her heart attack. I don't regret it, and I miss her so much:(.
Still no regrets, and oh how much I continue to miss her.
6. I still secretly hope my brother will marry one of my best friends (Nikki)...I peformed 2 "wedding ceremonies" for them when we were younger!
Pretty much given up on this...sigh.
7. I feel most at "home" when I'm at the beach.
Not quite sure home is anywhere anymore...
8. My mom is one of my best friends. I think our relationship is more important to both of us more than ever since her mom/my grandma passed away.
My mom continues to be one of my best friends, no matter how much we butt heads.
9. My parents met my Ohio best friend's grandparents on vacation 20+ years ago...and we've been friends ever since, even though we usually only see each other once a year:).
Nikki and I now have gone 2 years without seeing each other and it hurts. Big time.
10. I love to make jewelry, and consider it a huge compliment when people ask where I got a particular piece and when I tell them I made it they're shocked.
I have really slacked off on this, but over the weekend made 2 really pretty pieces so maybe I'll get back to doing more!
11. I love living in Athens. It kills me to have to go out to my dad's because it's so far away from everything.
Love=like. I miss South GA:(
12. The only flip-flops I'll wear are Havaianas. They're so comfortable, but people rag me for paying so much for them!
I've found more places that sell my beloved flip-flops (Belk, GAP, LOFT!), and they're the most amazing flip-flops I've ever put on my feet!
13. One of my ex-boyfriends told me that he still loves me and the only reason he won't leave his wife for me is because she would take his child away from him.
I haven't talked to this particular ex-boyfriend since last December, and frankly I'm glad he's no longer a part of my life. He was toxic.
14. I cannot listen to George Strait sing "I Saw God Today" because it brings back memories of when I dated my ex. If I hear it, I turn the station because otherwise I'll burst into tears.
This song still makes me cry:(...so if it plays on my Pandora station, I hit the thumbs-down button so they won't play it.
15. I am somewhat vain and despise going out without my hair and makeup being perfect.
If anything, it's gotten worse. Sigh...can't help it, and not sure I want to, either!
16. I'm the only one out of my close "clique" from high school that isn't either pregnant, engaged, or married. It's kind of disheartening at times, but I know what I want and I won't settle for anything less.
Nothing's changed there, unfortunately. I would love to find a husband, but I'm concentrating on myself right now, and I know in time the right man will come along. I just pray I'm not too caught up in myself and will give someone a chance.
17. I love vegetarian sushi from RuSan's.
So.Need.This.Soon!!!!!
18. I love good beer...Yuengling and Terrapin are two favorite "everyday" beers.
Nothing's changed there;)...LOOOVE them!
19. My cat loves drinking out of the toilet, and I think it's both disgusting and hilarious at the same time.
Since we moved, he rather drink out of the tub instead. I'm sure it tastes better...not.
20. I LOVE polenta...I dated a UGA food science professor last fall, and he used to make me all sorts of interesting food. His polenta was amazing...too bad his personality wasn't:).
I made peace with Jake (aka I apologized for how I broke things off!). I think it was my personality that needed help at that time. His polenta still is the most amazing stuff I've ever put in my mouth!
21. I think that Rod Stewart is sexy even if he is like old enough to be my grandfather.
Hot...will always think so!
22. I'm addicted to MAC makeup...it's so wonderful!
I have several addictions, but at least this one isn't really hurting anything but my wallet;).
23. Last year was the worst year of my life thus far...I lost 2 grandparents, got my heart broken, my parents separated, and my brother almost died. I definitely know God is real because He helped me through those awful times.
I still feel like 2008 was the worst year of my life. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I fully believe that. I was strong when I didn't have it in me to be such, and I learned so much about life.
24. My mom still spoils me even though I'm almost 24 years old.
Still spoiled...but until I give her a grandchild, I think she'll continue to do so!
25. I miss living in Statesboro because I didn't have to live by someone else's rules...and I miss my Sarah!:(
Miss it more now than ever:(...
My 25 Things About Me from Facebook...with updates underneath them! Originally posted on Facebook in February of 2009.
1. My favorite perfume is Clinique Happy in Bloom, and it's only (usually) available in the spring.
Still LOVE that perfume:).
2. I love seeing the looks on guys' faces when they hear me say that I like sports...PRICELESS:).
It's my signature flirt move to mention I love my sports;)
3. The Baha Men are one of my favorite bands...I first heard them in the movie "My Father the Hero" when I was about 10-11 years old.
Baha Men still make me smile!
4. I LOVE the Tampa Bay Rays!
Finally got to see them play in person in June and it was the most special moment of my life thus far.
5. When my grandma passed away last March, I wouldn't go in to see her the night she died. My family was really irritated with me, with the exception of my mom, because I wouldn't. I wanted to remember my grandma the way I did before she had her heart attack. I don't regret it, and I miss her so much:(.
Still no regrets, and oh how much I continue to miss her.
6. I still secretly hope my brother will marry one of my best friends (Nikki)...I peformed 2 "wedding ceremonies" for them when we were younger!
Pretty much given up on this...sigh.
7. I feel most at "home" when I'm at the beach.
Not quite sure home is anywhere anymore...
8. My mom is one of my best friends. I think our relationship is more important to both of us more than ever since her mom/my grandma passed away.
My mom continues to be one of my best friends, no matter how much we butt heads.
9. My parents met my Ohio best friend's grandparents on vacation 20+ years ago...and we've been friends ever since, even though we usually only see each other once a year:).
Nikki and I now have gone 2 years without seeing each other and it hurts. Big time.
10. I love to make jewelry, and consider it a huge compliment when people ask where I got a particular piece and when I tell them I made it they're shocked.
I have really slacked off on this, but over the weekend made 2 really pretty pieces so maybe I'll get back to doing more!
11. I love living in Athens. It kills me to have to go out to my dad's because it's so far away from everything.
Love=like. I miss South GA:(
12. The only flip-flops I'll wear are Havaianas. They're so comfortable, but people rag me for paying so much for them!
I've found more places that sell my beloved flip-flops (Belk, GAP, LOFT!), and they're the most amazing flip-flops I've ever put on my feet!
13. One of my ex-boyfriends told me that he still loves me and the only reason he won't leave his wife for me is because she would take his child away from him.
I haven't talked to this particular ex-boyfriend since last December, and frankly I'm glad he's no longer a part of my life. He was toxic.
14. I cannot listen to George Strait sing "I Saw God Today" because it brings back memories of when I dated my ex. If I hear it, I turn the station because otherwise I'll burst into tears.
This song still makes me cry:(...so if it plays on my Pandora station, I hit the thumbs-down button so they won't play it.
15. I am somewhat vain and despise going out without my hair and makeup being perfect.
If anything, it's gotten worse. Sigh...can't help it, and not sure I want to, either!
16. I'm the only one out of my close "clique" from high school that isn't either pregnant, engaged, or married. It's kind of disheartening at times, but I know what I want and I won't settle for anything less.
Nothing's changed there, unfortunately. I would love to find a husband, but I'm concentrating on myself right now, and I know in time the right man will come along. I just pray I'm not too caught up in myself and will give someone a chance.
17. I love vegetarian sushi from RuSan's.
So.Need.This.Soon!!!!!
18. I love good beer...Yuengling and Terrapin are two favorite "everyday" beers.
Nothing's changed there;)...LOOOVE them!
19. My cat loves drinking out of the toilet, and I think it's both disgusting and hilarious at the same time.
Since we moved, he rather drink out of the tub instead. I'm sure it tastes better...not.
20. I LOVE polenta...I dated a UGA food science professor last fall, and he used to make me all sorts of interesting food. His polenta was amazing...too bad his personality wasn't:).
I made peace with Jake (aka I apologized for how I broke things off!). I think it was my personality that needed help at that time. His polenta still is the most amazing stuff I've ever put in my mouth!
21. I think that Rod Stewart is sexy even if he is like old enough to be my grandfather.
Hot...will always think so!
22. I'm addicted to MAC makeup...it's so wonderful!
I have several addictions, but at least this one isn't really hurting anything but my wallet;).
23. Last year was the worst year of my life thus far...I lost 2 grandparents, got my heart broken, my parents separated, and my brother almost died. I definitely know God is real because He helped me through those awful times.
I still feel like 2008 was the worst year of my life. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I fully believe that. I was strong when I didn't have it in me to be such, and I learned so much about life.
24. My mom still spoils me even though I'm almost 24 years old.
Still spoiled...but until I give her a grandchild, I think she'll continue to do so!
25. I miss living in Statesboro because I didn't have to live by someone else's rules...and I miss my Sarah!:(
Miss it more now than ever:(...
Thursday, August 12, 2010
DWF-Part 2 (Warning- NOT PG!)
(DWF=Dating While Fat for those who didn't read my earlier blog on it!)
Saturday night, I had a very traumatizing experience while on a date. Before I get to it, though, let me tell you some background info: M had added me on Facebook a few months ago, and I accepted it because we had a ton of friends in common and I figured I just wasn't remembering him from high school. Last Tuesday night, he emailed me via Facebook and we started chatting. That led to phone calls and text messages. I knew he was a big flirt, but thought he was pretty harmless. We wound up making plans to go out on Saturday night.
Now that you're up to speed, let me tell you about the date. It started out fine, or so I thought. He kissed me on the lips before I had a chance to stop him, though, and that should've been a red flag right there. When I informed him that I don't kiss guys on the first date, he told me to just consider it a friendly kiss then. Whaattt? Last time I checked I don't go around kissing guy friends. Anyhoo, he took me to dinner and then we decided to go back to my condo and just relax with a couple of beers. Almost immediately he tried to get me to sleep with him! I was appalled, needless to say. Has our society become THAT slutty that a guy expects sex on the first date? What amazes me is that he had the gall to even ask after I told him I don't even kiss guys on the first date. Did he expect me to jump into bed with him, thinking that sure, sex on a first date is fine but kissing is DEFINITELY not?!
Too often, in my opinion, guys think that bigger girls must be desperate and therefore will sleep with any and everyone. Sorry, not this one. It's MY body and I choose who I do and do not sleep with. I'm not a prude, mind you, but I consider sex to be little more personal, and I'd prefer to know a guy a bit longer than a week before I sleep with him. M left when I went upstairs to use the restroom because I wouldn't go upstairs to my room with him. How mature, right? I did text him and tell him basically that I couldn't believe he left the way he did, and he texted me back that he was sorry, and he respected my decision to not sleep with him, but he's never been turned down before and expects sex on the first date. Wow someone's full of themselves! There's a first time for everything, and I'm proud to be the first chick to put a little dent in M's overinflated ego!
I will give M a little credit-he did email me the next morning and apologize for his actions. He told me that I'm going to make some guy very happy one day. I have no doubt in my mind that I will, but I have to wonder if there truly are any nice guys left who DON'T expect so much on a first date...if you happen to find one, throw him my way!
Saturday night, I had a very traumatizing experience while on a date. Before I get to it, though, let me tell you some background info: M had added me on Facebook a few months ago, and I accepted it because we had a ton of friends in common and I figured I just wasn't remembering him from high school. Last Tuesday night, he emailed me via Facebook and we started chatting. That led to phone calls and text messages. I knew he was a big flirt, but thought he was pretty harmless. We wound up making plans to go out on Saturday night.
Now that you're up to speed, let me tell you about the date. It started out fine, or so I thought. He kissed me on the lips before I had a chance to stop him, though, and that should've been a red flag right there. When I informed him that I don't kiss guys on the first date, he told me to just consider it a friendly kiss then. Whaattt? Last time I checked I don't go around kissing guy friends. Anyhoo, he took me to dinner and then we decided to go back to my condo and just relax with a couple of beers. Almost immediately he tried to get me to sleep with him! I was appalled, needless to say. Has our society become THAT slutty that a guy expects sex on the first date? What amazes me is that he had the gall to even ask after I told him I don't even kiss guys on the first date. Did he expect me to jump into bed with him, thinking that sure, sex on a first date is fine but kissing is DEFINITELY not?!
Too often, in my opinion, guys think that bigger girls must be desperate and therefore will sleep with any and everyone. Sorry, not this one. It's MY body and I choose who I do and do not sleep with. I'm not a prude, mind you, but I consider sex to be little more personal, and I'd prefer to know a guy a bit longer than a week before I sleep with him. M left when I went upstairs to use the restroom because I wouldn't go upstairs to my room with him. How mature, right? I did text him and tell him basically that I couldn't believe he left the way he did, and he texted me back that he was sorry, and he respected my decision to not sleep with him, but he's never been turned down before and expects sex on the first date. Wow someone's full of themselves! There's a first time for everything, and I'm proud to be the first chick to put a little dent in M's overinflated ego!
I will give M a little credit-he did email me the next morning and apologize for his actions. He told me that I'm going to make some guy very happy one day. I have no doubt in my mind that I will, but I have to wonder if there truly are any nice guys left who DON'T expect so much on a first date...if you happen to find one, throw him my way!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)